You're right to believe you need and deserve more leisure and pleasure in your world. But certain responsibilities or obligations could override this desire. Is it possible you could enlist the support of one or two others to help you clear the decks in order to chill and kick back? That might be a small price for them to pay to enjoy and benefit from a more relaxed, guilt-free 'you.' Might you be missing the best time to make a decision? Be more in control of your relationships and your emotions.